Bad Times.................Really Bad

Today got news my company got paycut, and its confirm, sigh, wat a time for me who jus join the job force for 4 mths only. Although I am still lucky, only kana paycut rather than retrenchment, more or less still affect the morale. Overall it beats having no job at this tough time. I am more or less not really affected by the pay since i got no commitment, just that its the job security i am more concern abt, been working for 4 mths, been slacking, although i am doing wat i was offered as a training supervisor, the job is very slow, makes me feel very not commited, been thinking abt this abt that, when u are slacking, u tend to think a lot, not like when u are busy u have no time to think. I am now facing a monotonous life now, not exciting, wat do i want in life? I wan my life to be exciting, i wan my job to be exciting, i wan to see new things everyday! If I have no one to answer to, I will tender my resignation tomorrow! I will take charge of my life! How easy! But, how am i going to convince those folks at home? my grandma, my father and mum when i am the eldest son, sian!